No. 20 - Duet - Charlie and Leroy - "Entertainments"

Lyrics by Paul A. Rubens

[Leroy:] Of all the entertainments
That now are quite the rage,
There's one they say has come to stay
On our dear old English stage.
[Charlie:] Tho' its origin is Frenchy
It's as goody as can be,
You simply sing a song in a swing
Or ride on an old donkey.
[Leroy:] Ah, Véronique, Ah, Véronique,
[Charlie:] You've not seen me?
I'm a donkey. Give me a carrot.
[Both:] Carrot, carrot, carrot, carrot,
Give me just a carrot in
The "Very nick" of time.

[Leroy:] There's another entertainment
That has lately made a stir
Where a chorus sings sweet soothing things
And the limelight's fixed on "her."
[Charlie:] She's dressed as a gallant soldier
And the battle's roar is heard,
And the band plays so very loud
That you can't hear a single word.
[Leroy:] How do, little girl, how do?
It's true, little girl, quite true,
I'm going to leave my grocer's shop,
For I'm off up to town to be a p'liceman.
[Charlie:] How do, little girl, how do?
I'm going to be dressed in blue,
And tho' marching off to war
I'll come back for one encore,
What a nice how'd you do, do, do.
[Leroy:] How do, little girl, how do?
It's true, little girl, quite true,
I'm going to leave my grocer's shop,
For I'm off up to town to be a p'liceman.
[Charlie:] How do, little girl, how do?
I'm going to be dressed in blue,
And tho' marching off to war
I'll come back for one encore,
What a nice how'd you do, do, do.

[Leroy:] Of acrobats and conj'res
We're getting rather tired;
And song of the moon and the cotton coon
Are no longer much desired;
[Charlie:] We've Maskelyne's and Cook'd it
Of mystery the home;
And now we go to the Pigmy show
At the Hip-Hip-Hoppodrome!