No. 5 - Duet - Jessie and Hawkins Lyrics by Robert B. Smith

[Jessie:] When I was the tiniest kid,
I was taught to do only as bid,
And now I'm perfection,
[Chorus:] You might pass inspection.
[Jessie:] Did you think that my charms were hid?
[Chorus:] We did.
[Jessie:] Though I'm only a maid, it is true,
Of my make there is only a few,
You'll find them most never,
[Chorus:] We think we are clever,
[Jessie:] But I think I am more so don't you?
[Chorus:] We do.
[Jessie:] Well, I'm sure that you think what is true.
For a cleverer domestic you will rarely ever see,
And ev'ry part of the servant's art
I know from A to G.
If you'd like to take a lesson serving brochette or a bun,
Just drop in on me at luncheon
And I'll show you how it's done.
[with Chorus:] For a cleverer domestic you will rarely ever see,
And ev'ry part of the servant's art
I know from A to G.
If you'd like to take a lesson serving brochette or a bun,
Just drop in on me at luncheon
And I'll show you how it's done.

[Hawkins:] When I was the tiniest lad,
I didn't mind as I was bade,
But Pa was abusive,
[Chorus:] And that was conclusive,
[Hawkins:] You must have had that sort of dad.
[Chorus:] We had.
[Hawkins:] So after a time, I was far
From having a peer or a par,
A valet of standing,
[Chorus:] For standing commanding,
[Hawkins:] Oh, you should be proud of your star.
[Chorus:] We are.
[Hawkins:] He's fit for the suite of a Czar.
I'm the lily of the valets,
I say "valley" for the joke.
It's "valet" if you've money,
and it's "valley" if you're broke.
If you'd like to have me show you
How a house of mine is run,
Just drop in on me at luncheon
And I'll show you how it's done.
[with Chorus:] I'm the lily of the valets,
I say "valley" for the joke.
It's "valet" if you've money,
and it's "valley" if you're broke.
If you'd like to have me show you
How a house of mine is run,
Just drop in on me at luncheon
And I'll show you how it's done.