No. 17 - Trio - "When in Town." Lyrics by Harry Greenbank

[Sir Lewis:] When in town you're safely landed,
and the doctor far away,
You must meet me on the quiet,
and we'll have a jolly day!
[Dr. Brierly:] When you're back again in London,
and Sir Lewis isn't by,
Oh, my charmer, you must give me
an appointment on the sly.
[Sir Lewis:] Shall we try the Exhibition,
and the Boyton Water Chute?
[Dr. Brierly:] Let's inspect the Wedding Presents
at the blameless Institute!
[Sir Lewis:] We'll perambulate the Lowther
and the Burlington Arcades.
[Dr. Brierly:] Shall we meet at Sir Augustus's
delightful masquerades?
[Lady Virginia:] I will meet you in the lane,
Or the wicket gate close by,
If it doesn't look like rain,
And the weather-glass is high;
For my ballads all relate,
(And I want to be discreet)
That the lane or wicket gate
Is the proper place to meet.
[All:] She/I will meet me/you in the lane--
How we bless the old refrain!
But a lady who would wait
In a lane, or at a gate
Isn't quite the sort of lady
we consider up-to-date!

[Sir Lewis:] Will you meet me at the waxworks
of the eminent Tussaud?
[Dr. Brierly:] You will find Dahomey's Amazons
an interesting show!
[Sir Lewis:] We'll have luncheon at the Langham,
and we'll sup at the Savoy.
[Dr. Brierly:] There is much at the Alhambra
that a lady could enjoy.
[Sir Lewis:] Shall we visit Moore and Burgess,
or the simple German Reed?
[Dr. Brierly:] If you like to try the Empire
I'll be very pleas'd indeed!
[Sir Lewis:] The Aquarium can show you
something novel and grotesque
[Dr. Brierly:] Shall we meet at the Lyceum
or a Gaiety Burlesque?
[Lady Virginia:] I will meet you at the stile,
Or the trysting tree of old,
If I think it worth my while,
And the day is not too cold.
For my ballads all agree,
(And I want to be discreet)
That the stile or trysting tree
Is the proper place to meet.
[All:] She/I will meet me/you at the stile,
Where the elderberries smile!
But a lady who would wait
By a stile, or at a gate
Isn't quite the sort of lady
we consider up-to-date!