It was called the fifth day of Christmas. More to the point, it was the last day of the school term. Leianne woke up and peered around her room.
There on her bedside table lay the five golden rings, just as she'd expected, bright and shining in the sunlight. She also saw another four calling-birds on her window-sill, three more French hens indistinguishable from the other six all pecking at the pattern on her carpet, and a fourth pair of turtle-doves perched above the mirrored dressing-table. As she sat up and looked out of her window, Leianne saw growing in the garden a fifth pear-tree containing the inevitable fifth complacent partridge.
"It's all very well," said her mother, coming into the room, "but this can't go on. Every morning this week your devoted friend James has popped round with the same batch of presents all over again, plus the novelty of the day! I'm not saying I wouldn't welcome tomorrow's six geese, provided they all lay respectable eggs, but ..."
She paused, and sat solemnly on the edge of her daughter's bed.
"The point is, Leianne, I did a few calculations last night. I don't deny it's very thoughtful of young James to be so generous, but you must realise - if this continues, in a week's time we'll have twelve drummers staying here, along with twenty-two pipers, thirty leaping lords, thirty-six dancing ladies, forty milkmaids - each with her own goat or cow, not to mention forty-two swans and forty-two geese, forty gold rings, three dozen calling birds, thirty of these French hens, twenty-two turtle-doves and a dozen pear-trees, each with a nesting partridge. That's a total of thirty-four musicians, a hundred-and-six men and women either dancing or milking some domestic farm animal, plus a hundred-and-eighty-four assorted birds on the premises; though if these lords persist in leaping about I'm not sure if we'll have any premises left! And I need to know how long they're planning to stay - I mean, am I expected to provide Christmas dinner? Naturally the lords will want partridge or dove pie, and the ladies will probably be content to eat continental poultry. But I'm afraid the musicians will have to make do with goose-egg omelettes and boiled swan!"
"We could always offer them stewed pears!" Leianne suggested brightly.
"Yes, if we go out and buy them," replied her mother. "Even a well established pear-tree won't bear fruit until the summer! No, I'm afraid the only valuable objects we're likely to end up with are these tiny gold rings!"
She picked one up and examined it. "Disappointing!" she added. "I was hoping they'd be bigger!"
Leianne took the other four rings and placed one on each of the fingers of her right hand. Before leaving the room, her mother dropped the fifth ring onto the dressing-table where the eight turtle-doves stared down at it enquiringly.
"A pity they're not magic rings!" thought Leianne as she went over to retrieve it. "I could wish for a lot of changes if they were!"
Leianne's greatest wish was that she could have appeared in the School Nativity play. But as the teacher had pointed out, Joseph and the three kings were undoubtedly men, and they didn't employ female shepherdesses in biblical times, so the only true role for a girl was Mary. And that part had already been allocated to someone a good deal taller than Leianne.
"Couldn't I be the angel Gabriel?" Leianne had asked earnestly, only to be told that he too was really a man. It all seemed most unfair, especially as the boys showed far less interest than the girls in dressing up and going on stage.
Leianne picked up the fifth ring and peered through it. "I wish I'd been born a boy," she said gloomily.
Suddenly the room was quite different. It was no longer her bedroom but a drab Victorian living-room such as she'd seen in old oil-paintings. Leianne was so busy looking at her new surroundings, it was a while before she noticed she was now sitting in a wheelchair.
She glanced up at her reflection and gasped in amazement. Although familiar, the face now staring back at her was undoubtedly that of a boy, with short wiry hair and a very cheeky grin. Leianne tried to stand up and get closer to the mirror, but she found she couldn't. No matter how hard she tried, her legs simply wouldn't move.
"This is pointless," she cried and looked around for the fifth ring. But it was gone. So she carefully took off one of the other four rings from her right hand.
"It's no use being a boy if I end up paralysed!" she murmured, and looked again in the mirror. "I also want to be able to walk!" she added quite firmly.
In a flash the walls disappeared and she found herself in a bleak snow-covered street, her head bent low against the wind as she shuffled along an icy footpath through an unfamiliar deserted town. The air was bitterly cold, her nose felt raw, and her teeth were beginning to chatter. Leianne was also desperately hungry and tired, as if she'd been on her feet all day after a chilling sleepless night. She realised for the first time in her life how it must feel to be homeless.
She stopped outside a doorway marked "Humanitarian Aid Society", and rattled the handle. But the premises were securely locked. She peered through the dim dusty window pane but could see no-one inside.
With numb fingers she slowly drew off one of the remaining three rings and held it up in front of her face.
"I'd like to be somewhere a lot warmer!" she declared, adding quickly: "Oh, and it'd better be close to lunch-time too!"
It happened again. Now she found herself dressed as a missionary, standing waist-deep in a cauldron of very hot water, while around her danced a noisy group of tribal warriors, all dressed in skins and feathers and carrying long sharp spears.
"Excuse me," she said to one as he jogged by, "but where am I? Who are you?"
"We are all Humanitarians," he replied breathlessly, and moved on.
"If we lived on fruit and vegetables," added another, "we'd be called Vegetarians!"
"But we're not!" said a third. "We're strict Humanitarians!"
Leianne was already near to fainting from the heat, and this news was enough to turn her legs into sticks of jelly. Just before she melted away, she managed to tug off one of her remaining two rings, and made another hasty wish.
"I'd like to be back home," she panted, "sitting in the living-room on a comfortable chair, with plenty of food, and preferably in front of the television!"
Everything went black. For a moment Leianne feared she'd made her wish too late, and that the cannibals had already begun their dinner.
Then she heard voices and laughter.
"What's happening?" she called loudly. "What's wrong with the lights?"
"Shh!" said a voice in her ear. "Don't interrupt - we'll tell you later when the cartoon's finished."
Cartoon? What cartoon?
There was more laughter. Were they laughing at her, she wondered, or the television? And if the others could all see a cartoon, why couldn't she? It was evidently some party-game they were playing, but Leianne was no longer inclined to take part. She reached up to pull off her blindfold.
Only, there wasn't one! She rubbed her eyes vigorously.
"Why can't I see?" she yelled. "Have I gone blind now? Why is the room so dark?"
"Oh, Leianne, stop complaining!" said her mother. "Get up, you silly girl, and draw back your curtains! Or do I have to do everything for you? Come on, it's twenty past eight. You don't want to be late for school on your last day! Besides, your new admirer is waiting downstairs and he's got a big surprise for you!"
"Not six geese?" asked Leianne drily. She sat up and peered out over her garden, but there wasn't a single pear-tree to be seen.
Downstairs she found James eating a spare peanut-butter sandwich. His mouth was too full to speak, but he handed her a large plastic carrier bag.
Leianne opened it in wonder and pulled out the contents - a long blue dress wrapped in tissue paper, also a pair of sandals and a crisp white shawl.
"It seems the Virgin Mary's got measles," her mother explained. "She can't be in the play after all. You've got the part instead. But hurry up, or they may change their minds before you get there!"
Excited as she was though, Leianne's attention was focused on the plastic bag that James had carried the dress in. It was decorated with a motif of seasonal holly and an array of images symbolising the twelve days of Christmas, including pipers, leaping lords, golden rings, French hens - and a complacent partridge which, to Leianne's surprise, gave her an unmistakable and most emphatic wink!
THE END
Back to my Stories Page
Back to my Front Page
Except where specifically noted, all music and stories on this web site are my own creations. You may not use any of them for any purpose without written permission from me. Copyright © 2003 Colin Johnson All Rights Reserved.