[Mrs. Blacker:]
It was "leg-o'-mutton" day when I first met you,
Last Guy Fawkes' day-- I don't forget the date!
[Parker:]
As you stood there then I never can forget you--
You looked like Venus rising from the grate!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
You walked down in the kitchen like a lion,
And around my neck your great strong arms you threw,
[Parker:]
And though neither of us knew it,
You were sitting in the suet,
When my meerschaum pipe fell in the Irish stew!
[Both:]
Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
[Parker:]
Ha'p'ny Nap we used to play,
[Mrs. Blacker:]
While the soup all boiled away,
[Both:]
As we sat by the kitchen range!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
One evening you'd a bad cold in your head, dear,
So I made you have two mugs of punch or more--
[Parker:]
I remember now, when I got into bed, dear,
"Punch" never made me laugh so much before!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
And another time I made some pastry for you,
A lovely bit, all jammy squares, like draughts--
[Parker:]
And I don't forget the fuss, dear,
When I dropped it off the 'bus, dear,
And the driver said it broke both of the shafts!
[Both:]
Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
How we smiled, and how we laughed,
[Parker:]
How I scorched my "fore and aft"
[Both:]
In front of the kitchen range!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
D'you remember how you loved all kinds of salads?
So I made you one to take home in the train--
[Parker:]
And you wrapped it up in one of Tosti's ballads,
And the beetroot went all over the refrain!
[Mrs. Blacker:]
Oh, and how you used to love my tête de veau, dear,
And didn't you enjoy my spotted dog--
[Parker:]
And that jugged hare, when you made it,
D'you remember you mislaid it,
And it found its way to Croydon in the fog!
[Both:]
Dear old days in the kitchen,
Days that were doomed to change!
[Parker:]
Oh, the tears we both let fall,
[Mrs. Blacker:]
And the roast beef got them all
[Both:]
As it cooked by the kitchen range!