[Susan:]
If ever I marry, my husband must be
In some occupation attractive to me;
I'm sure I should dote on an artist of note,
With wonderful ties and a velveteen coat!
[Gigg:]
Oh, that sort of man wouldn't suit you a bit.
He'd always be trying to get you to sit,
And painting away for sending-in day;
You know the Academy opens in May!
(Dialogue and Business)
[Both: (his words)]
Now don't you see that you would be
Unhappy with such a celebritee.
His language artistic would fall rather flat!
You wouldn't get on with a man like that!
[Susan:]
Now sometimes I think I would marry for choice
An opera singer with beautiful voice,
Who'd work with the whole of his heart and his soul
In rendering, say, a Wagnerian rôle.
[Gigg:]
For choosing a singer your motif is leit.
Remember that he would be out ev'ry night;
That day-time, alas! I fear he would pass
Rehearsing expression in front of a glass.
(Dialogue and Business)
[Both: (her words)]
I think I see that I would be
Unhappy with such a celebritee.
Although he would probably never sing flat,
I shouldn't get on with a man like that!
[Gigg:]
I'm sure you'd find no one more suitable than
A highly respectable medical man,
Whose praise would be sung by the old and the young;
Your pulse he would feel and examine your tongue.
[Susan:]
Well, I should get dreadfully jealous, you know,
For popular doctors are flirted with so;
Some ladies, you see, will ask them to tea,
And fully describe what their symptoms may be.
(Dialogue and Business)
[Both: (his words)]
Now don't you see that you would be
Unhappy with such a celebritee.
With patients he'd always be having a chat,
You wouldn't get on with a man like that!
[Gigg:]
Why not try a judge very learned and bland.
The Law Courts, you know, are not far down the Strand,
And there he'd preside, looking most dignified,
And listen while different cases were tried.
[Susan:]
Yes, judges are wonderful persons, no doubt,
But they're got a habit of finding things out;
And I should object to have him suspect,
Supposing my conduct was not quite correct.
(Dialogue and Business)
[Both: (her words)]
I think I see that I would be
Unhappy with such a celebritee.
He'd always be finding out what I was at.
I shouldn't get on with a man like that!