No. 9 - Song - Pettifer and Chorus Lyrics by Percy Greenbank

[Pettifer:] Whenever you're my way,
Quite close to Ratcliffe Highway,
Just look at my large stock-in-trade,
[Chorus:] trade, trade.
[Pettifer:] I've all things on sale, O!
A winkle or a whale O!
I'll forward at once, carriage paid.
[Chorus:] paid, paid.
[Pettifer:] A lamb, or a lion,
I'm ready to supply on
Demand, or a nice little bow...
[Chorus:] wow, wow.
[Pettifer:] A leopard first-rate, or
a fine alligator,
A marmoset, an ostrich, a camel or a cow.
[Chorus:] or a cow, cow, cow.
[Pettifer:] You'll find that mine are not
At all expensive terms,
For early birds I've got
Some extra special worms,
And then I've safe and snug
A Polar bear or two,
So poor old maids may get a hug
Inside my zoo, zoo, zoo.
[Chorus:] You'll find that his are not
At all expensive terms,
For early birds he's got
Some extra special worms,
And then he's safe and snug
A Polar bear or two,
So poor old maids may get a hug
Inside his zoo, zoo, zoo.

[Pettifer:] I've always been noted,
When companies are floated,
For finding a nice guinea-pig,
[Chorus:] pig, pig!
[Pettifer:] My storks more or less'll
recall the Hotel Cecil,
Their bills are so long and so big,
[Chorus:] big, big!
[Pettifer:] Card-sharpers may meet, Ah!
With such a cunning cheetah!
And gamblers can play ducks and drakes,
[Chorus:] drakes, drakes!
[Pettifer:] If drunkards should roam there,
they'll feel quite at home there,
And even strict abstainers
may see a lot of snakes,
[Chorus:] lot of snakes, snakes, snakes!
[Pettifer:] I've ravens black as night;
There also may be seen
Some cockatoos in white,
Some parrots red and green,
But all their splendour pales
With my macaws in view;
I call them "Pink 'uns" for their tails
Are short and blue, blue, blue!
[Chorus:] He's ravens black as night;
There also may be seen
Some cockatoos in white,
Some parrots red and green,
But all their splendour pales
With his macaws in view;
He calls them "Pink 'uns" for their tails
Are short and blue, blue, blue!