[Gus:]
Oh, memory's a funny thing indeed,
It's often very feeble and uncertain;
[Archie:]
When incidents occur
Over which you would prefer
In the future, so to speak, to draw a curtain.
[Gigg:]
If creditors for settlement you press,
One needn't stop to listen to their chatter!
Just tell them you regret
That you can't recall their debt,
For your mind is quite a blank upon the matter.
[Gus:]
It's blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank!
[All:]
Look them in the face
With an expression that is frank.
It's convenient to find,
On occasions, that your mind
[Gus:]
Is blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank!
[Gigg:]
Suppose I live in town, and one fine day
I hail a hansom cabby outside my gate;
[Gus:]
And then request the man,
Just as quickly as he can,
Say, to drive you all the way from there to Highgate.
[Archie:]
He does his best your orders to obey,
He knows the journey's worth a lot of money;
[Gigg:]
But when he puts me down,
And I hand him half-a-crown,
The expression on his face is rather funny.
[Gus:]
It's blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank!
[All:]
Cabby's very sorry that you called him off the rank;
Oh, he makes a lot of noise,
And the language he employs
[Gus:]
Is blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank!
[Gus:]
In racing, or in betting on a horse,
You may not take the interest that heaps take,
[Archie:]
But all the same, you may
Be prevail'd upon one day
Just to enter for a harmless little sweepstake;
[Gigg:]
You hope to draw the favourite, of course,
You're told there's really nothing that can lick it;
[Archie:]
But when the draw takes place,
On the day before the race,
You are shocked to find on looking at your ticket,
[Gus:]
It's blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank.
[All:]
Still, you feel you've only got your wretched luck to thank,
There are prizes, one or two,
But the number drawn by you
[Gus:]
Is blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[All:]
absolutely blank.
[Archie:]
Perhaps you're one of those who long to show
The Drama is in need of much improvement
[Gus:]
Of a theatre then, may be,
You become the sole lessee,
And resolve to be the leader of the movement.
[Gigg:]
You wouldn't stage a comedy, oh, no!
Or even melodrama that's excitin';
The play that you rehearse
Is a tragedy in verse--
Well, you know the sort of verse some poets write in.
[Gus:]
It's blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[Gigg:]
absolutely blank.
[All:]
Certainly it won't improve your balance at the bank.
When the piece has run a bit,
Stalls and gallery and pit
[Gus:]
Are blank,
[Archie:]
blank,
[All:]
absolutely blank.